Looking down the table are 23 smiling, laughing faces stoically stuffing themselves while sharing so many interesting stories. I think to myself, wow, this is all of us. Most holidays in my family are this same boisterous crowd and often my mother’s parents will join us. There are a lot of Smith’s but what is most important in our family is caring and consideration toward one another. Actually there are 24 Smith's, but what is most important in our family, is caring and consideration toward one another. Actually there were 24 Smiths and the experience we recently shared in losing this young member of our family will never be forgotten. This experience has taught me a lot about who ii am, what I wish to do with my life, who I want to be and what values drive me.

        Joey Jones was born on April 25, 2000. He was such an adorable little baby, who was not able to leave the hospital because he needed a tube to help him breath. This upset me very much; I was so excited to have a new cousin to run around with in the backyard. Everyday I knew that losing him was a possibility. I wanted to make sure he knew who I was and I wanted to be able to remember his little face. He was finally able to go home to my aunt’s house in Weston whereupon I was ecstatic to hear the news. I figured that this was an omen that his life would be as normal as it could be. I distinctly remember going to his house, sitting in the rocking chair while holding his tiny, thin body. The house was very quiet, which was extremely unusual, seeing that Joey has an older sister, Allie, and an older brother, Jake. My family and I were there for about an hour, and, as we were walking out, my grandmother was walking in. It was so nice to see her; she can always make me crack a smile even during this hard time. Every minute spending with Joey was very special. Soon after this visit, life seemed back to normal until I came home from school and I noticed my mother was acting odd. I asked her what was wrong and she broke out in tears. My heart skipped and she whispered me the horrible news. All I could do was hug her; after twenty minutes of comforting from my mom, I went up to my room. I did not know what to do, nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I kept asking myself why, why him, he was so young. On June, 15, 2000 we went to the service and this was the hardest event of which I was a part of. I walked into the church and this time I did not see 23 smiling faces; these faces hurt me and forced me to cry. The service was a blur in front of my watering eyes. The service ended and 23 Smiths walked proudly to the reception but without the normal noise and laughter that follows us wherever we go.

        This experience helped me realize that I am a person who can cherish every moment of my life. It has taught me that I am a strong person who has to endure what life throws at me whether it be painful or joyful. From this I learned that losing a family member will only make me stronger and that is exactly what Joey did. Although he may not know it, his small, fragile body was able to assist me to have a greater outlook on my life. He helped me realize that I come from an outstanding family, who are extremely close. He helped me to realize I come from a world where my brothers, sisters and I are surrounded by positive people who constantly encourage. For our family to get better, we first had to get worse. He helped me realize that I want to be a person who loves every second of my life. He made me realize the unique value of life and the pain in death.

        Joey has changed me so much. I believe that this frightful experience has made me a better person. Joey will also be with me in spirit as I go on to pursue my career and enjoy my life. Now, every time I walk into a church reception room, I think back to the three amazing and excruciating months with Joey. I will always love Joey and the other devoted and caring 23 Smiths. This experience was painful, hurtful and sometimes joyful. This sensitivity will be of immense help as I interact with students throughout the globe. Joey's short time with us assisted me so much.

        Joey was unable to leave the hospital because he needed a breathing tube. This upset me very much; everyday he remained there, I knew that losing him was a possibility. I wanted to make sure that he knew me, and I wanted to be able to remember his little face forever. Finally after two weeks, he was breathing on his own and allowed to go home to my aunt’s house. I was ecstatic to hear the news. I figured that this was an omen that his life would be as normal as it could be. I distinctly remember going to his house, sitting in the rocking chair holding his tiny, thin body. The house was very quiet, which was extremely unusual, seeing that Joey has an older sister, Allie, and an older brother, Jake, who are normally noisy. Every minute spending with Joey was very special. My family and I visited for about an hour, and as we were walking out, my grandmother was entering. It was so nice to see her; she can always make me crack a smile even during this difficult time.

        Soon after this visit, life seemed back to normal until I came home from school one day and I noticed my mother acting odd. I saw that she crying and asked her what was wrong. I felt pain throughout my body as she whispered me the horrible news. We’d lost Joey. All I could do was hug her and cry too. After twenty minutes of comforting from my mom, I went up to my room. I did not know what to do; nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I kept asking myself why, why him, he was so young. On June 15, 2000 we went to the service, which was the most unbearable event I’d ever attended. I walked into the church and for the first time ever I did not see twenty-three smiling Smith faces; this time, these faces looked so sad and forced me to cry. The service was a blur in front of my watery eyes. When it ended, twenty-three Smiths walked proudly to the reception but without the normal noise and laughter that usually follows us wherever we go.

        Joey has changed me so much. Because of him, I now grasp the unique value of life and the pain in death. This experience has taught me that I am a strong person who has to endure what life throws at me even when it’s painful. From this I learned that losing a family member will only make me stronger and that is exactly what Joey did. Although he may not know it, his small fragile body was able to assist me to have a greater outlook on my life. He helped me realize that I come from an outstanding family that is extremely close; my brothers, sisters and I are surrounded by positive people who constantly encourage us. Joey helped me reinforce that I am a person who loves every second of my life.

        Now, every time I walk into a church reception room, I think back to the two amazing and excruciating months with Joey. I will always love him and the other twenty-three devoted and caring Smiths. This experience was difficult, hurtful, and sometimes joyful. I will always remember Joey’s short time with us. My baby cousin will always be with me in spirit as I go on to pursue my career and enjoy my life.

Mindy Pollack-Fusi/College Essay Coaching
781-275-7301   mindy@mindypollack.com