I had vaguely recalled reactions friends had shared years earlier when I could not yet comprehend this unknown entity, “school,” and all that comes with it. One friend had said she’d stood at the bus stop sobbing. Another didn’t know what to do first: soak in a leisurely bath, scrub the floors, or go on a wild shopping binge? A third admitted to using the kindergarten launch as the day to begin getting pregnant again--twice more.

For my part, I stood frozen, realizing that the kindergarten send-off is clearly a rite of passage far less touted than a first communion, a bar or bat mitzvah, or a graduation. Where was the Hallmark card wishing Happy Kindergarten Day to my daughter--and to a mother witnessing the unraveling of the cocoon as her little one confidently flew off?

I eventually tore myself away from the bus stop and returned to my home office, but working became impossible! Instead, I relived the moment by describing minute details to Grandma and Grandpa: Melissa’s delighted squeals of “It’s today, it’s today,” when she first awoke; the rich red and turquoise hues of her Little Mermaid dress; the pencil, pad and Mickey Mouse eraser in her Pocahontas backpack. I told them about the way she held her back straight and her head high as she stepped in front of the first- and second-graders to board the bus.

I also called friends experiencing the same joyous event, and I pored over our baby album. Later, I took a quick drive to drop off the “first bus” film for developing. I hoped that my clients, whose work I was ignoring that morning, would find my actions excusable on that special, once-in-a-lifetime day.
When Melissa arrived home with paint on her shirt and a big smile on her face, I began the first of our occasional talks: I made sure she could handle herself when she encountered her first bully; I stressed the importance of speaking up for what she needs and asking the teacher a question when she doesn’t understand something; and I emphasized how important it is for her--particularly as a female--to learn to exchange private thoughts or pouts for words and action.

Indeed, her entire kindergarten year passed for both of us with only a few minor bruises and, more so, with endless jubilation about loving school, making new friendships and, most important, growing up.

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